Birds & Bees
by yourfaithfulsidekick
Summary: ONE-SHOT. Some metaphors need to stay just as they are...AFTER Michelangelo gives his two cents of course!


**A**uthor's **N**ote: This was just a little one-shot I thought of when I was in class today! I never really write humor (totally a drama/angst kinda gal, sue me- please don't, I'M SORRY- IT WAS A JOKE- have a cookie!) so this was definitely a new experience! I had a lot of fun, and uhm- one of the hardest things I think about humor is that you may think is funny- but it may only be funny to you! Anywho, I hope ya'll enjoy! Thank you so so much for reading!

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT or anything related to it**

….

Birds & Bees

…

"You know, I've been doing some thinking…"

A verbal groan echoed the room. Donnie shook his head, attempting to be completely focused in tinkering his T-Phone. With his little brother now hopping up and down in his seat, Donnie sighed. He knew as soon as a sentence like this came out of his little brother's mouth, anything could come next. Hearing Leonardo and Raphael mumble under their breaths assured Donnie that they too are preparing for the worst.

"If this is about the sewers again-!" Raphael warned as he lifted his eyes from his magazine.

"Ew!" Mikey exclaimed, grimacing at the memory. "Don't make me think about that smell! I have a serious revelation here, dudes!"

"Then what is it, Mikey?" Leonardo offered a small smile as he took a pizza slice from his little brother, then sitting back on the couch for _Space Heroes_.

Michelangelo turned to face all his brothers, tapping his finger against his chin. Genuinely flustered at the train of thoughts that ran his mind. "Why would the birds and bees…you know… Do **it**? Wouldn't the bee hurt the bird?!"

"That's just an expression, Mikey." Donatello answered as-a-matter-of-factly. Lifting his head slightly from his work, he continued, "Birds and bees can't really make babies. It's just so when parents tell their children, it's…easier to understand."

"How the shell does that make it **easier**? It's way more confusing that way!" Mikey shrieked, crossing his arms and pouting slightly.

"Only to you, shell-brain." Raphael snickered from behind his magazine. Leonardo chuckled at the comment as he chimed in, "Don't worry about it, Mikey."

Suddenly, Michelangelo smiled big and wide. As if a light bulb had shined brightly inside his head, he snapped his fingers and jumped from his seat. His voice jumped up an octave as he exclaimed enthusiastically, "Oh! I get it now! The birds are the girls because their voices are so high - signing noises! And the boys are the bees because they got a **stinger**! Get it-?! Oh man, whoever thought of that is a genius!"

Donatello rolled his eyes as he slapped his forehead. _Oh Mikey..!_

Leonardo sighed as he uncomfortable shifted across the couch. _Only you, little brother. Only you._

Raphael simply sneered, chucking at his youngest brother, "Guess there is a brain in there after all…somewhat."

"But," Mikey's smile faded again as he sat himself back on the floor. His legs crossed, his eyes focused on the ground as he tilted his head to the side. "The stinger doesn't have to be…y'know! Bees kinda show you who's boss-! Since they can, you know, inflict their-!"

"We get it!" All three brothers cried in unison. Mikey shot his head up and began waving his hands frantically to gain his brother's attention again. Raising his voice he desperately cried, "No, no! You're not listening to me!" Waiting until all eyes were on him, Mikey smirked. "The bees will hurt'ca if you get on their bad side, right? So, in a way, April's totally the bee."

"WHAT?" No longer able to hold back his laughing, Raphael busted into fits of laughter as Donatello's checks turned beat red. Leonardo (failingly) attempting to laugh himself, patted Donnie's shell. "Don't worry, Donnie. Being the bird isn't all bad."

Mikey giggled, shaking his head as he grinned from ear to ear (if he had any). "See, Donnie? At least Leo can accept he's a bird-!"

Leonardo felt his face flush. "Wait, **WHAT**? I-I'm not a-!"

Shrugging, Mikey casually answered. "Oh, come on, Leo. Karai can **totally **sting you and you'd love every second of it, dude!"

Raphael held his sides as he continued to laugh at his head off. Donnie, his face still a tint of red, snickered at his oldest pale face. Leonardo stuttered as he defended pride is still left, "N-No way! You don't even know her! S-She's not a bee-! Birds are sneaky and just swoop around you all the time! They can be vicious too- look at pigeons!"

"Oh man," Mikey mumbled to himself, "Then what the shell is Pete if he's a pigeon-uh-bird **and **a bee-?" Catching himself wandering off, he quickly raced as he exclaimed. "T-That's not my point! The bird in the relationships is all about going with the wind and being all singing-songy!" Making a gesture to his two older brothers, he smiled as he continued, "That's totally Leo and Donnie! The bees don't take anyone's issues! They just…Sting ya with their stinger! It only took the two minutes I've known her to tell ya that Karai is a bee- and don't get me started on April!"

Raphael continued to chuckle as Leo and Donnie looked over at each other, each sharing a similar tint of red in their checks. Giving one another a nod of approval, their bashful frowns twisted into a devilish grin. Michelangelo noticed the obvious shift in his brother's expressions. Chuckling nervously, he scooted his shell further away from their reach. "B-B-But being a bird isn't so bad! You guys can fly-! Oh, wait, bees do that too. Uh- well- you guys are prettier than the bees so- yay!" Even flashing his huge grin, baby blue eyes, and his puppy pout- he hoped for the best.

"We'll show you who can **sting**-!" Leonardo hissed as he jumped off the couch beside Donatello and began chasing Mikey, attempting to grab him in a headlock.

The sounds of Michelangelo's shrieks echoed throughout the lair, making Master Splinter rise from his meditation. Pacing himself to the living room, his eyebrow raised at the sight in front of him.

Leonardo chased Michelangelo alongside Donatello, all three exchanging words that would make a father cringe. He was shocked to find his three sons engaged in such ruthless and childish bickering. But, what was just as shocking, he found Raphael simply laughing at the sight. Approaching his son, he asked, "What is going on here?"

Raphael smirked. "I think Mikey needs **the talk** again, Sensei…"

...


End file.
